MY PIGGY BANK

 

 

 Look at my piggy bank after I bought gas yesterday.
 

 

Who says there is no humor in religion!

How to tell if a Catholic is driving too fast   Jewish Olympic Swimmer       ge.us"> Church can be hilarious!   </ SPAN>         </SP AN>     The Woodpecker Might have to go!   May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more, and may nothing but happiness come through your door!

Paramedic

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call.

The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.

Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked.
Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom.  Connor began to cry.

The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Kathleen quickly responded, 'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place......smack his ass again!'

Mexico olympics

President Felipe Calderon of Mexico has announced that Mexico will not participate in the Beijing Summer Olympics. He stated, "Casi todos que puedan correr, saltar, o nadar ya salieron del pais." Translation: "Pretty much everyone who can run, jump, or swim has already left the country.

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Credit: Mary S.

Texas Farmer

An old Texas farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning  till night, she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule.

 

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began harassing him again.

 

Complain,...nag, ...nag; it just went on..... and on.... and.........

 

All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot. At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd.

 

When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.

 

So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

 

The old farmer said: "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."

"And what about the men?" the minister asked. "They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."