Hapiness

Perfect for ZMAN SIMCHOSEINU

 !!! זמן שמחתנו

 

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully, dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved Perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.

 

His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After  many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.

As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.

I love it,' he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait.'

'That doesn't have anything to do with it,' he replied.

Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time.

 

Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged. It's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it.

 

'It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice;

 

I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.

Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life.

Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.

 

So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories!

Thank you for your part in filling my Memory Bank.

 

I am still depositing.

'Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.

 

2. Free your mind from worries.

 

3. Live simply.

 

4. Give more.

 

5. Expect less.

Pass this message to 7 people, so they too can share in this message like I shared it with you.

Have a nice day! unless you already have other plans...

My cell phone died

BS"D

I have a new number, if you want, you know how to ask for it.

Thank you

---
Moshe Hackner
Call to review your insurance needs. Don't wait until it's too late!
Help others: http://www.helpkcy.org

my cell phone died

BS"D

My Phone died and I might not have your phone number(s) please go to this link

http://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?formkey=dGpNYkJmUW1UeTRZSEZsT195NmJKUGc6MA

and enter your information for me.

Thank you

If you got this email in error, please let me know.
If you don't like getting emails, you might want to cancel your account! (just joking) :)

---

Moshe Hackner
שנה טובה ומתוקה
Call to review your insurance needs.
Help others: http://www.helpkcy.org

And then the fight started

What not to say.....

 

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

 

And then the fight started...

******************************************

My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

 

And then the fight started....

******************************************

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

 

And that's how the fight started...

******************************************

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,

"I AM NOT HAPPY !!!"

So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

 

And then the fight started.....

*****************************************

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her some bathroom scales.

 

And then the fight started...

******************************************

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.

 

And then the fight started...

******************************************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

 

And then the fight started...

******************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.

I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

 

And then the fight started...

******************************************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

 

And then the fight started...

******************************************

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.

I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

 

And then the fight started.....

Winter Blonde

WINTER BLONDE

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."  The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says...

"Hi, my name is Mark, it's winter in Pennsylvania and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"

Test for Dementia

Test for Dementia
 
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your
time, answer all of them immediately. OK?


Let's find out just how clever you really are....



Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)







First Question:

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong!
If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Try not to screw up next time.
Now answer the second question,
but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?


Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
(scroll down)





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?


You're not very good at this, are you?

   

Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.



Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30.
Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000
Now add 10. What is the total?


Scroll down for answer.....





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~






Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.



If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right....
.Maybe.



Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,
4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?







~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you Answer Nunu?
NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again!



Okay, now the bonus round:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and! the purchase is
done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of
sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?
 




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~






He just has to open his mouth and ask...
It's really very simple.... Like you!

   


PASS THIS ON TO FRUSTRATE THE
SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!

Two boys chatting

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on beds next to each other,
outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four.
They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice-cream.
It's a breeze."

The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"
The first kid says, "A circumcision."

And the second kid says, "Whoa, Good luck, buddy!
I had that done when I was born... Couldn't walk for a year

Read once a week

This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!! .........

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.. It is the most-requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair,but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate,resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others.You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret,you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful,beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19.. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important organ is the brain.
 
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
 
A holy man was having a conversation with God one day and said,
' God , I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.'

God led the holy man to two doors..

He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.

In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished.

They were holding spoons with very long handles, that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful.

But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

God said, 'You have seen Hell.'

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one.

There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water.

The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said, 'I don't understand..'

It is simple,' said God . 'It requires but one skill.

You see they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves.'

Its estimated 93% won't forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title '7%'.

I'm in the 7%

Remember that I will always share my spoon with you!

Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves

Ronald Reagan

DO YOU MISS THIS GUY?

'Here's my strategy on the Cold War: We win, they lose.'- Ronald Reagan

'The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'-Ronald Reagan

'The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant; it's just that they know so much that isn't so.'  Ronald Reagan

'Of the four wars in my lifetime, none came about because the U.S.  was too strong.'- Ronald Reagan

'I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress.'  - Ronald Reagan

'The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.' - Ronald Reagan

'Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.' - Ronald Reagan

'The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is a government program.'  Ronald Reagan

'It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.' - Ronald Reagan

'Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it' - Ronald Reagan

'Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed, there are many rewards; if you disgrace yourself, you can always write a book.' - Ronald Reagan

'No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is as formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.'- Ronald Reagan

'If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under.'- Ronald Reagan

The proposal

Excellent.  How do you get this in motion??   "The  Proposal"     When a company falls on difficult times, one of the things that seems to happen is they reduce their staff and workers.  The remaining workers must find ways to continue to do a good job or risk that their job would be eliminated as well.    Wall street, and the media normally congratulate the CEO for making this type of "tough decision", and his board of directors gives him a big bonus.  Our government should not be immune from similar risks.   Therefore: Reduce the House of Representatives from the current 435 members to 218 members. Reduce Senate members from 100 to 50 (one per State).  Then, reduce their staff by 25%.    Accomplish this over the next 8 years  (two steps/two elections) and of course this would require some redistricting. Some Yearly Monetary Gains Include: $44,108,400 for elimination of base pay for congress. (267 members X $165,200 pay/member/ yr.) $97,175,000 for elimination of their staff. (estimate $1.3 Million in staff per each member of the House, and $3 Million in staff per each member of the Senate every year) $240,294 for the reduction in remaining staff by 25%.  $7,500,000,000 reduction in pork barrel ear-marks each year. (those members whose jobs are gone. Current estimates for total government pork earmarks are at $15 Billion/yr) The remaining representatives would need to work smarter and improve efficiencies.  It might even be in their best interests to work together for the good of our country!  We may also expect that smaller committees might lead to a more efficient resolution of issues as well.  It might even be easier to keep track of what your representative is doing.  Congress has more tools available to do their jobs than it had back in 1911 when the current number of representatives was established.  (telephone, computers, cell phones to name a few) Note:  Congress did not hesitate to head home when it was a holiday, when the nation needed a real fix to the economic problems.  Also, we have 3 senators that have not been doing their jobs for the past 18+ months (on the campaign trail) and still they all have been accepting full pay.  These facts alone support a reduction in senators & congress.  Summary of opportunity: $ 44,108,400 reduction of congress members. $282,100, 000 for elimination of the reduced house member staff.  $150,000,000 for elimination of reduced senate member staff.  $59,675,000 for 25% reduction of staff for remaining house members.  $37,500,000 for 25% reduction of staff for remaining senate members.  $7,500,000,000 reduction in pork added to bills by the reduction of congress members.  $8,073,383,400 per year, estimated total savings. (that's 8-BILLION just to start!) Big business does these types of cuts all the time. If Congresspersons were required to serve 20, 25 or 30 years (like everyone else) in order to collect retirement benefits, tax payers could save a bundle.  Now they get full retirement after serving only ONE term.   IF you are happy with how Congress spends our taxes, delete this message. Otherwise, then I assume you know what to do.

--
This message has been sent from a wireless device.
Please make sure all responses are directed to thebestbroker@gmail.com

One Liners

Collection of 1 Liners

I don't recall who told me which jokes, however I would like to acknowledge and thank everyone and request you continue to send them. :)

What's a J.A.P.'s favorite wine?

I want to go shopping!

Little Johnny's at it again...

Little Johnny's at it again...

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'

     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?'

     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

The math teacher saw that little Johnny was not paying attention in class. She called on him and said,

'Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Little Johnny quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'

     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.  'Yes,' said the police officer. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him. 'Little Johnny asked, 'Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?'

     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

If this brightened your day, do not let it stop here. Pass it on with a smile. Keep spreading the cheer! Pass on to your friends! They like Johnny too ya know!

---
Credit: Ray-z H.

Undoubtedly the Number 1 E-mail of 2009

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE

1920's, 30's 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's and 80's !

 

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos.

 

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, raw egg products, loads of bacon and processed meat, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer.

 

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

 

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking!!!

 

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

 

Riding in the back of a Bakkie on a warm day was always a special treat.

 

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

 

Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no pizza shops, McDonalds, KFC, Steers, Nandos.

 

Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn't open on the weekends, somehow we didn't starve to death!

 

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

 

We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy Chappies, Wilson's Toffees, Wicks Bubble Gum and some crackers to blow up frogs with.

 

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because......

 

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!

 

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

 

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

 

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and cubby houses and played in river beds with matchbox cars.

 

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on DSTV, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms.......... WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

 

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no Lawsuits from these accidents.

 

Only girls had pierced ears!

 

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

 

You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross Buns at Easter time.......no really!

 

We were given pellet guns and catapults for our 10th birthdays!!

 

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!

 

Mum didn't have to go to work to help dad make ends meet!

 

RUGBYand CRICKET had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! Getting into the team was based on MERIT AND NOT DUE TO BLACKMAIL, THREATS AND GUILT FROM THE PAST..... strange but true!

 

Our teachers used to belt us with big sticks and leather staps and bully's always ruled the playground at school.

 

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.

They actually sided with the law!

 

Our parents didn't invent stupid names for their kids like "Kiora" and "Blade" and "Ridge" and "Vanilla"

 

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

 

The past 70 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

 

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO

DEAL WITH IT ALL!

 

And YOU are one of them!

 

CONGRATULATIONS!

 

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.

 

And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.

 

 

--

Credit: Soroh E.

White House Minyan... a tzente?

New White House Staff!
So far we have:

1. Rahm Emanuel - Chief of Staff - Jewish
2. David Axelrod - Senior Advisor to the President - Jewish
3. Ronald Klain - Chief of Staff to the Vice President of the United States - Jewish
4. Larry Summers - Economic Advisor to the President - Jewish
5. Paul Volcker - Economic Advisor to the President, Former Head of Fed Reserve - Jewish
6. Tim Geithner - Treasury Secretary - Jewish
7. Peter Orszag - Head of Budget - Jewish

Am I the only one noticing that Obama and Biden are not so much assembling staff, as gathering a minyan?

--
Credit: David D.

Looking for work?

 

AIN'T IT THE TRUTH!!? Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6am. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA ) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG ). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA ), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE ) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA ) After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA ) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO ) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN ) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA ) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY ) filled it with GAS (from Saudi Arabia ) and continued his search for a good paying job. At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his Computer (Made In Malaysia ), Joe decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL ) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE ) and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA ), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in the UNITED STATES .

 

--
Credit: Shloime H.