Call centres supposedly actual conversations!!!!!

Call Centres


Customer:  "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?". 

Operator:  "Where did you get that number from, sir?". 

Customer:  "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".

Operator:  "Sir, they are our opening hours".

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Samsung Electronics  Caller:  "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"  

Operator:  "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".  

Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning.

Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"

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Directory Enquiries   Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".

Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"

Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".

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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.  

Operator:  "Woven? Are you sure?" 

Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland".

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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop". 

Customer: "OK". 

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?". 

Customer: "No". 

Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"  

Customer: "No". 

Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?". 

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".

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Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?" 

Customer: = "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

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Caller:  "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".

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There's always one.

This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a supposedly true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause". 

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):  

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"  

Caller:  "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."  

Operator: "What sort of trouble??"

Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden  the words  went away."

Operator: "Went away?"

Caller:  "They disappeared."

Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

Caller:  "Nothing."

Operator: "Nothing??"

Caller:  "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."  

Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"  

Caller: "How do I tell?"  

Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"

Caller:  "What's a sea-prompt?"  

Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

Caller:  "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."  

Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"

Caller: "What's a monitor?"

Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.  

Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

Caller: "I don't know." 

Operator:  "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"

Caller: "Yes, I think so."  

Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."  

Caller: "Yes, it is."  

Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"  

Caller:  "No."

Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again  and find the other cable."  

Caller: "Okay, here it is."  

Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."  

Caller: "I can't reach." 

Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"

Caller: "No."  

Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and  lean way over??"

Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

Operator:  "Dark??"  

Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."  

Caller:  "I can't."  

Operator: "No? Why not??"  

Caller: "Because there's a power failure."  

Operator: "A power............ A power failure?  Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"  

Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."  

Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."  

Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Caller:  "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"

 Operator: "Tell them you're too f***ing stupid to own a computer!!